Corporate Ratchet (Part 9) – The day the ratchet died

 I allowed the sage words of wisdom from my mother marinate as I made my way to work. She was right. Unless you have a strong chance of getting a better job elsewhere due to established contacts or credentials/skills set, it is always a good idea to stick with what you have until another door opens. Its kind of an unspoken rule among hiring managers and job seekers alike. It is definitely the rule than the exception. I decided to collect all my feelings about management and the job itself and file them somewhere deep in my mind. New motto: Go to work. Get the job done. Hope for the best.

But this motto was getting more and more difficult to abide by as rumors of lay offs and budget cuts spread through out the company. Of course, we were advised to just ignore to rumors,keep calm and carry on. This was hard to do as more and more representatives were unceremoniously escorted out the building daily with their belongings in tow. In spent many lunches following my decision to not to quit, listening to the grievances for coworkers who needed the job to make ends meet. Case in point, my fellow trainee, Bethany* expressed her concern. With a unemployed live in boyfriend and two sons to put through school, she needed this job. So you can imagine my surprise, when days later, she was escorted out the door by a supervisor with her head low. When I inquired about why she was let go, I found out it was for reasons that normally would have handled with a verbal warning. But hey, whatever justifies making cuts I guess.

Nothing solidified my potential departure from this job than when I returned from my lunch break to find my boss’ space empty. Completely empty. Except for the plastic plant and the computer monitor , it was as it he was never there. Reason for his departure? Issues with management. I guess this was their politically correct way of saying that he was too expensive to keep as an employee. He was far from perfect but for the most part, he was not a horrible boss. But like I said earlier, any excuse necessary. All I knew was this very fact, my days as this job were numbered.

My team got a new supervisor. This supervisor had a reputation for ruling with an iron fist and letting people go without a second thought. Word on the street is that he once let someone go for coming in late, even after it had been established that the representative had a flat tire on the way to work. I caught myself looking over my shoulder multiple times a day, wondering when , for whatever reason, he would tell me to come into the office to speak with the operations Manager. I was starting to get more and more paranoid by the day, but I decided that so long as I was doing my absolute best, I was not going to allow things that are out of my control affect me.

Funny enough, the day that I was finally let go, it did not happen as I had expected. No looking over my shoulder or expecting a call from my supervisor to come into the office. In fact, for some reason, I dressed up the day I got laid off. I applied a little more make up than usual. I had one a pair of khaki dress pants and a pink silk blouse. Why? I don’t know but it if were going to be show the door , I was walking out in style. I walked into the building with my coffee mug in tow and was told immediately by my supervisor to not turn on my computer. Yep, it was time.

I walked into the operation managers office and sat down. Long story short, management changes , budget cuts, mistakes made on my part, you have to go. Trust me, I was not even arguing with them. I was at peace. I no longer wanted to fight for something that never wanted in the first place. I allowed them to complete all the formalities for my termination while I sipped my cappuccino. They promised me unemployment benefits and a good recommendation for my next employer. Its the least they could do I guess.

As I walked down the long hallway toward the door leading to the parking lot, like many of co-workers before me, I felt like a kid on Christmas day. I was excited. Excited that the next day, I did not have to come back to this job that had pretty much sucked the life out of me for close to a year. I didn’t look back to see my fellow co-workers who were arguing with toxic customers on the phone. Not even to make eye contact with them as I did whenever I was leaving for the day. I was moving forward.

I drove out of the parking with a sense of relief. I was done and happily so. As I made my way home, I had some business to take care off.

Stop by favorite bakery. Pick up two cupcakes- Check
Fajitas to go from my favorite Mexican Restaurant -Check
Celebratory “beverage” purchase- Check
Optimism that my sad days are done and better days lied ahead of me – check and CHECK!!!

* – Name changed to protect identity

Corporate Ratchet Part 8 : Botched plans

 

On the way home from work that night, I kept going over my meeting with  my supervisor and my boss. The more I thought of every minuscule detail of that conversation, the angrier i got. In business school, I was taught that when it comes to management, the corporate climate is established from the top and it trickles down to lower management. If a manager creates an environment that shows that he/she is interested in the work that his team puts in and is willing to defend them to upper management when necessary, there is a sense of security. And when an employee feels that they  secure, it drastically improves the quality of their work. In the end the difference between an average employee and an excellent one is how secure they feel when it comes to their leaders.

When you are working for a company where you are made to feel like you are replaceable and only the fraudulent survive, you can’t help but wonder what you future is going to be. I recall a moment when I confessed to a co worker over lunch that there is no future for me working at the company.  I never thought that after working for two years to earn a Masters degree, I would be working somewhere lacking room for growth.

I spent the weekend weighing my options. Do I quit and spend time focusing all my energy into finding a better job or do I just stick it out?  I asked my friends what they thought. I got mixed reviews. Some felt I should stick it out. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, they said. You can get a better job when you have a job, they said. And some said I should just turn in my badge and quit. Take a risk, don’t turn back.

All these opinions did not make my decision any easier.  However, by Sunday night, I made my decision. I was going to quit. For a moment , I had this euphoric feeling on what was to come but I didn’t know what it was. I felt like I was on the cusp of something amazing but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  All I knew was  the more I thought about not having to be at work on Tuesday because I was planning to quit on Monday, the more excited I got.

Of course, I had to share this news with my mother.

I woke up that Monday feeling excitement. I had a whole plan in mind. I was going to wake up super early and look around for any company property like name tags or badges laying around. Wanted to make sure that I have every thing I need to hand back to the powers that be when I go in to resign from my position. Because of the informal nature of the job, there was really no need to give them two week notice. They would just fire you. So I decided that I would go in, guns blazing and just tell them I am done.

As I skipped down the stairs to go to work, I found my mom in the living room sipping tea. I happily plopped into the couch next to her and told her about my plans. I had already rehearsed the whole thing in my head.

Me: Mom, after much consideration, I mean, I have really thought long and hard about this. I have decided that I am quitting my job today.

Mom: **blank stare**

At this point, I thought if I elaborate more on why I was choosing to leave my job, she will give me an expression of understanding.

Me: Mom, you know that I have been having a hard time with the management at my job for a while and it is hard to work for a company that does not have your best interest….

Mom: **blank stare, occasional blinking**

Me: I mean ,there is not future for me there. I feel that in order for me to be able to keep my job , I had to cheat the system and that goes against everything I learnt in my Ethics class in Business school. The environment is toxic and I feel undervalued. I mean just last week, they laid off some of the best representatives in the company. They had been working there for years. What hope is there for me? I feel like I am on chopping block anyways and I refuse to be fired from a job like this…so I am going to leave.

Mom: **deep inhale and exhale** So you are going to quit?

Me: Yes..

Mom: So, do you have another job lined up?

Me: **Blank Stare**

My mom was totally killing my vibe. I knew where she was going with this

Mom: Well, do you?

Me: Does it matter? I am going to get another job once I have the time to look.

Mom: If you quit this job, how are you going to explain to say a potential employer or recruiter why you quit a job when there are thousands of people looking for jobs? How can you run when no one is chasing you??

In this very moment, I wish I had just kept my plans to myself because my mom had to just give me some of her wisdom. The kind of wisdom that you know if right but you don’t want to admit it. I mean, I had a plan laid out as to how I was going to quit. I was going to waltz into the building, head over straight to HR and tell them that I am resigning. I didn’t even plan on talking to my supervisor or checking in with him as I am supposed to. I was going to give them my badge, sign whatever documents necessary and leave. I was going to pick up some cupcakes from my favorite bakery, buy some lunch and spend the rest of the day celebrating. But alas.

Mom: Listen, I know you don’t like that job but until something better comes along, you have stick with your job and give them your very best.

I felt like deflated balloon. Reality bites. She was right. Until someone chases you, you can’t really run because what are you running from? With my botched plans in tow, I hung my head and went to work. So much for that plan.